Tuesday, November 17, 2009

One. Do not panic.

I got up early this morning. I was awake, so might as well. Had a nice warm mug of tomato soup. (Hey, that wasn't mentioned in the menu! Actually it was - leftovers.) I love tomato soup for breakfast, in a mug, with oyster crackers - perfect on a cold morning.

So, I was just sitting here, chillaxin', sipping my soup, reading the interwebs when little thoughts started to cross my mind...

...Little Bit will want to go sledding today...I should add 'fold laundry' to the list...I didn't dust that light fixture yesterday...Farmer J and her husband will be here a week from today...

what What WHAT? A WEEK? Farmer J and her husband will be here in a WEEK?

Farmer J is my twin sister. We've declared it! We just, er - haven't met in person yet. We have, however, like many of you, met, and shared our life stories (and our lives) over the interwebs. It all starts with some little common thing on a message board, then a private message...an email....a card in the mail....then *gasp!* a phone call - to and from a total stranger, who just happens to be your twin sister. Before you know it, you have a stack of stuff you've been gathering and setting aside for said twin sister, and she's coming by the house, with her husband, to get her stuff and have lunch.

The interwebs are a weird, wonderful thing, aren't they?

In honor of this little corner of the web's name, here are
Ten Things I need to do before next Tuesday.

One Do not panic. Seriously - panicking takes up a whole lot of time, and I ain't got that.

Two Mow the back yard, have the property landscaped, and research/purchase/install about an acre of sod around the house. Alternately, pray that it snows - only in my yard - to cover up what a mess it really is. (I don't want to wish them bad traveling weather, after all!)

Three Figure out what to make for lunch. They are just passing through, so it needs to be simple, light, tasty. On my side, it needs to be simple, light, tasty and something that always turns out right. I will have to overcome the urge to make ... THANKSGIVING DINNER. Seriously - I need to just calm down.

Four Dust that light fixture. Hey, that sounds do-able!

Five Finish cleaning out the basement clutter. If I start right now, and take care of 1,487 items per hour, without sleep, until they get here, I can probably pull it off (unless they arrive early). My other option is to install a deadbolt on the basement door and pretend like we built the house on a concrete slab.

Six Think of a way to explain why there are window wells (and a walkout) when we built the house on a concrete slab. Alternately, pray for enough snow (only in my yard, mind you) to fill up the window wells and the walkout.

Seven Bring all the stuff I've gathered for Farmer J (and her husband) upstairs, since we built the house on a concrete slab.

Eight Decide on a dessert - very likely pie. Pie is always good for a formal (anything fancier than peanut butter and jelly wrapped in a paper napkin) lunch. Apple? Cherry? Not pumpkin - that's too much like THANKSGIVING DINNER. Peach? Lemon? Raisin? Buttermilk? Why are there so many choices?

Nine Lose sixty pounds. I'd probably burn it off cleaning out the basement...but we built the house on a concrete slab. Oh well.

Ten Groom the hens, groom the cat, groom Little Bit and....get a complete makeover. Hello, Oprah? Ellen? Tyra? Bonnie Hunt? Anyone?


Anonymous said...

Dear Ten Things,

For crying out loud, take a chill pill. As the mother of twins (even though one of them seems to have been invisible) I can tell you that you are in a dither for nothing.

Remember my motto:

"Don't worry about the dust balls under the furniture until they start growling at you."

I'm sure she'll just be glad to meet you and yours.

I had a dream last night whereas you and Theresa and Lynn came to visit and left Little Bit at home.

Needless to say, you are at the top of the LIST!!! Ha, Ha

Granny LB

Prairie Farmstead Ponderings said...

Cheese and crackers! Why did I even bother putting on mascara this morning?! It's all running down my cheeks from the laughter tears.

The first thought that appeared in my groggy mind when I awoke this morning was ~ one week from today we will be visiting Ten Things Farm! Squeeeeee!

Now, I *told* you not to get all panicky and fuss around doing anything differently than you normally would ~ it's absolutely *not* necessary. We're just simple folk, you know. Very simple folk. In fact, fuss makes us nervous.

Perhaps this will help ease your panic a little:

One: I already told you not to panic.

Two: Instead of mowing and landscaping, just have Little Bit strategically place some of her farm animals around the grass that's still managed to survive the frost and snow. They're grazing pastures.

Three: Something simple like a PB&J on your delicious homemade wheat bread ~ using some of your delicious cherry jam ~ along with some homegrown carrot sticks and some sweet tea sounds delish.

Four: I'm short and Darling Husbie won't notice, so only dust that fixture if you have time or if doing it will help you relax a little.

Five: Leave the basement just the way it is ~ it will make me feel better about our man-cave downstairs.

Six: You mean those new chic rain water collectors are really window wells? And, that's very clever of you to install those doors on your Earthworm Observatory like that.

Seven: Breathe, girl. Many hands make light work ~ we'll bring it all up when we get there. Don't crowd your hubby out of his living area!

Eight: Darling Husbie is an all-American boy. Some of your delicious homemade apple pie would truly put a twinkle in his eye. But then, he loves cherry, too. Heehee! I'm never good about narrowing down choices. (Oh, if you're feeling you must go fancier than PB&J, then Grilled Cheese would be fabulous!)

Nine: You do *not* need to lose 60 lbs! You're perfectly beautiful just the way you are.

Ten: All that grooming is just going to make us nervous! Stop it already!

...and I've got one more thing for you to do, Dearie...

CHILLAX!! (Squeeeeeeee!)

tenthingsfarm said...

And that, dear readers, is what twins are for!

Erin Dodge said...

Oh! I love you. You're wonderful and you make me laugh.

You know, I'm having very similar feelings about being a week from my due date (especially given that only ONE of my flock of lil muffins has ever made it TO their due date).

If I go into labor now... the kitchen is a mess, where will my midwife set up her stuff? Do the kids have enough clean socks to go to Grandma's house? What if Grandma is snowed in??? etc.

My solution: When I feel like that, I have a cup of herbal tea and go to sleep. ;)

Gill - That British Woman said...

you're funny!! Farmer J will not care one hoot what your place looks like, she's coming to see you guys......I'm just jealous that I won't be able to be there with you both!!

Gill in Canada

GrammyGoo said...

Me too Gill~~ Have a beautiful visit ladies. Two of the dearest sisters in Christ . I've instructed Farmer J one her blog, to give beautiful little bit a hug from Grammy-Goo. She is just so precious.
Blessings, GG

tenthingsfarm said...

Erin! We have got to get together and cook for you - or else I have got to come over and you can boss me around your kitchen while you put your feet up!

Gill, Ella! Can you imagine how excited I am? I was just funnin', mostly because Farmer J asked me if it'd be a stress. I'll be fine, just as long as it snows a lot! ;)

Mom, you crack me up - I can't, and wouldn't dare leave Little Bit anywhere! Heck, I can't even go to the bathroom by myself! So...when do you want all of us (and Lynn and Teresa) to come by? ;)

Anonymous said...

I vote for peanut butter pie. Really yummy. And not the normal thing for most people.
That is so cool that you girls are getting together. Have fun.

Anonymous said...

Darlin' Daughter,

All of you all can show up any old time and be sure and bring Kenzie!!

Finally found some actual plumbers and they came this am and installed a brand new kitchen faucet and new drain pipes and sink drains and NOTHING LEAKS!!!

Got all the tile off the bathroom wall and now have to tear down the remaining wall and put up a new one and probably will call the plumbers back to install the bathroom faucet and toilet, but you know how slowly it goes here.

Going tomorrow to get fitted for new upper plate. Life is one big party, isn't it?

Love to all,
Granny LB


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